How I Deal With Haters, Trolls and Everything In Between.

Let's get real, not everyone you encounter is going to like you. No matter how nice, sweet, caring and big-hearted you are; you're going to run into people who just straight up hate you and you might not even know them. Maybe they're jealous, believe ridiculous lies or whatever their issue is with you, don't give them your energy to feed off of to create more "drama."

There's people who hate me for absolutely no reason and have been nothing but nice to them and they still find a way to try and bring me down by spreading false information down and trying to tell me that I'm pretty much nothing and a horrible person. Where they get that from? Who fucking knows but here's my six steps in not letting them get to me, to help you minimize the hatred. 

1.) The Blocking Spree:

This is probably the most effective way for eliminating negative energy out of my life, from my personal experience. When I found out people were mocking me, making me feel like complete shit, saying horrible things, posting things that they think I wouldn't see about me, etc. I blocked every person who contributed to those posts on every social media site, why? Because they will take something that I post, twist my words, make fun of me and make a laughing stock out of me and they don't need to see what I'm doing in my life. I don't need negativity in my life to move forward in my career. I don't need to feel like I'm not good enough, pretty enough, or even "tatted up" enough to do what makes me happy and confident, which is modeling.

2.) The "Ignoring it" Phase

Trust me, this is one of the things I really struggle with but I've seen it work in my personal life as well and that's ignoring the complete trash talk. Sometimes, I feel like I have to justify myself to prove to everyone that I'm not this "fake bitch who doesn't know what real life is" and make a scene of it. But, to me that shows that I'm lowering myself and not taking the high road if I make a public scene. The one thing that I will make a scene of is if people talking about my parents, my adoption and to talking about how I was adopted because no one wanted me or wanted to love me, which is messed up and that's the one thing that I feel needs to be addressed when an issue of that nature comes into play. Back to the ignoring part though, if you don't give them the time of day, they'll eventually move on and find someone else to make their lives a living hell because they have NO life. By ignoring them, they become confused, irritated and desperate to get your attention or attention from others so they can feed off of it. Bottom line is, don't feed the viscous and make them weak by not responding. (Just my opinion.)

3.) Laugh it off

Now, I've seen some ridiculous things about me that were very hurtful at first and now looking back, I can't help but laugh. If you're currently going through "cyber bullying" just as I did, I know that it can really hurt and you're probably saying to yourself "How the fuck is being mocked funny?" well it isn't going to be currently as it's happening, but when you get the opportunity to prove your "haters" wrong; nothing is more funny than seeing what you have accomplished and seeing your haters continue to find victims because they have nothing going for them and who obviously have nothing better to do. I laugh at them because they're jealous most of the time, mad because they're too scared to follow their dreams and hate people who have some slight success in what the person that they're mocking's dream/career. After my shoot and interview with Style344, when it went live, I knew I had just shut up the people who claim to say "I don't do anything and force people to shoot with me" and I couldn't help but laugh, but I honestly really like to prove people wrong in my actions and steps that I take to get closer to what I envision myself as in the near or far future.

4.) You Do YOU, Don't Be Afraid To Be Who You Are and Go For Your Goals.

It's as simple as that, just live your life the way you want and follow your dreams. Never give up on what you want in life, don't let people tell you, you can't do something, because you CAN. Anything you put your mind too, you can accomplish and always remember that. Forget what others say, LIVE YOUR LIFE.

5.) Don't Second Guess Who You Are As A Person

Don't ever second guess yourself just because of a few people who don't know who you are as a person or know your heart. Now, this is something that I've had to learn the hard way. During the time that I was getting bullied on a regular basis, I second guessed who I am as a person. I thought that maybe I was everything that those people were saying when in reality, nothing that they say are true facts. I had to have to some reassurance from my family, friends and even coworkers to just remind me that I am a good person and I've done so many positive things in my life and that outweighs the mistakes I've made. Second guessing yourself will only bring you down more and there's nothing worse than believing the negative things that are said when you know in your heart those negative statements or rumors aren't true. You need to stand up for what you believe, want, and know exactly who you are without people trying to trick you into thinking you're a piece of dog crap because you don't deserve that level of negativity, no one really does unless they're really horrible person like a rapist or murderer or anything along those sides of pure evil.

6.) Stay True to Yourself

Staying true to who you are is important. This is kind of a branch off of step number five, but I thought I'd touch on it a little more. Needless to say, you need to stay true to yourself and not change who you are, especially if you and you're loved ones know that you're absolutely 100%, without a doubt a good person. You don't need to change for the favor of your haters because they're still probably going to hate you, find something else they don't like about you or call you fake and that's just the way life is. Changing your beliefs, style, career and what you want to chase after isn't going to benefit you or bring you happiness, at all. To change who you've grown to be can definitely make you depressed, especially when it's for other people and not yourself. Personally, I think by changing for others turns you into someone you're not, at all and doesn't show the genuine person that you probably are. To be influenced by complete bullies, is extremely unhealthy, whether you're a kid, teenager or even an adult. Striving to be someone you're not is just going to wear you out and eventually you're not going to want to keep up with what you think people want you to be because you're not putting your heart and energy into YOU but for the sake of others. By not putting all of your energy into yourself to make you happy, you're probably going to end up feeling fatigued, sad and trapped. Changing yourself because you don't want to be hated is preventing you from expressing who you are as an individual and holding you back from what you really want in your life. Remember, there's only one unique you. It's hard to do sometimes, but you need to embrace yourself, do what makes you happy in life and stand behind everything you have to offer the world. 

By following these steps (that are in no particular order) I've seen a dramatic difference in my life. Eliminating the negativity has made me strong, I've grown thick skin, it has given me my happiness back and I no longer have clinically diagnosed depression.  

I hope you guys liked this kinda short and sweet post! Don't forget to follow me on Social Media!

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Katie 

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Relationships

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd talk about a few things that can possibly help some of you out there! I'm not a relationship professional or anything like that, but I do I have some useful advice and tips to keep a healthy relationship. I haven't had a "real" relationship in a VERY long time and have been "single" for a few years now, but it's not something that is made the number one priority in my life. So, here is my how to keep and have a healthy relationship from day one or maybe even save your relationship!

Step One: LOVE YOURSELF FIRST! Now, I believe you have to love yourself first before you can love anybody else. You ask why? Because I find when someone doesn't love themselves and aren't happy with who they are on the outside AND inside, they become insecure about not being good enough for their partner. Jealousy also comes in the way with the relationship, when the significant other isn't happy with themselves and causes controlling of the other person, no one likes being controlled. Stop looking at others that you feel like you have to compete with. That's not sexy or attractive you guys!

Step Two: BE HONEST ABOUT EVERHTHING!

You both need to be open books with one another and any kind of relationship in general. It's key. If you build up a relationship on lies, who are you kidding, is that living life? If you're on a bed of lies and have to keep lying, that's stupid  honestly. You can not sneak around being shady, that's the worst kind of trait a person can have and that's the truth. If you can not be honest and comfortable telling the truth to a significant other, you shouldn't be with them. Relationships are about being comfortable and honest with one another. The more you lie, the more you hurt the other person and that's not fair.

Step Five: RESPECT EACH OTHER! 

If you don't have full respect for that person, your relationship isn't going to be all smiles and love. Being disrespectful obviously leads to arguments. Respect each other's property, decisions, morals and everything you can think of because being disrespectful is one of the worst things a person can do, in my own opinion it's horrible and I have learned that from experiencing it.

Step Four: HAVE COMMON INTERESTS AND OUTLOOKS ON LIFE!

I feel like this is common sense but, I've seen people get into a relationship for the solo fact that they think a person is attractive and have nothing in common with them. What I find happens when this comes into play, is constantly arguing and fighting because the couple does not see eye to eye on anything. I'm not saying a couple has to have everything in common, I'm asking how can you have a true conversation if there's no common interest about anything on any subject? What I also find what happens is that the relationship is extremely awkward and a lot of tension is caused between the two people because of the fighting and not understanding one another. Seriously, how can that make you happy when you can't even talk about something you're interested in and the other person doesn't even care? It's unhealthy in my opinion, not to mention shallow and frustrating! I think having common interests and similar outlooks can really make a relationship strong, since the couple understands from where one is coming from and can talk about what they enjoy and not having a hard time trying to find a topic to talk about.

Step Five: DON'T BE ATTACHED TO THE HIP LIKE CONJOINED TWINS!

Now, I'm guilty of doing this and I think a lot of couples are. Being an individual is something that you need to embrace every once in awhile, that's for sure. Of course if you're married you are going to be around that person for maybe forever, but this applies to dating, marriage a domestic relationship, etc. Getting some space for yourself, maybe going out with some friends for a weekend, going to the spa by yourself or anything that separates you from your significant other, I believe is healthy. When you're constantly with someone 24/7 chances are, you're going to get annoyed, fight, meltdown and could potentially lead to a break up. Y'all aren't conjoined so go out and do something that doesn't involve the person you are with! It's okay! You gotta do you sometimes!

Step Six: DON'T BE CONTROLLING!

No one likes being controlled. Being told what to do, what not to do, making your significant other your pet is something that no one should ever have to put up with. That falls in the categories of disrespect, jealousy, not loving yourself and maybe even being attached to the hip. You see, your significant other is NOT your dog, so don't treat them like it. Treating them like that is stupid, you're not their parent. Don't ever let anyone control you. Do what you want and be the individual you are! 

I think these six steps can really make a difference in a relationship or even save a relationship! I hope one day someone buys into my mess of a life but until then, I hope I can help others with my advice from personal experiences and reach out to help someone's "love life," and being there for all of you!! I don't think I'm an expert one bit, but I think these few things can help!