In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd talk about a few things that can possibly help some of you out there! I'm not a relationship professional or anything like that, but I do I have some useful advice and tips to keep a healthy relationship. I haven't had a "real" relationship in a VERY long time and have been "single" for a few years now, but it's not something that is made the number one priority in my life. So, here is my how to keep and have a healthy relationship from day one or maybe even save your relationship!
Step One: LOVE YOURSELF FIRST! Now, I believe you have to love yourself first before you can love anybody else. You ask why? Because I find when someone doesn't love themselves and aren't happy with who they are on the outside AND inside, they become insecure about not being good enough for their partner. Jealousy also comes in the way with the relationship, when the significant other isn't happy with themselves and causes controlling of the other person, no one likes being controlled. Stop looking at others that you feel like you have to compete with. That's not sexy or attractive you guys!
Step Two: BE HONEST ABOUT EVERHTHING!
You both need to be open books with one another and any kind of relationship in general. It's key. If you build up a relationship on lies, who are you kidding, is that living life? If you're on a bed of lies and have to keep lying, that's stupid honestly. You can not sneak around being shady, that's the worst kind of trait a person can have and that's the truth. If you can not be honest and comfortable telling the truth to a significant other, you shouldn't be with them. Relationships are about being comfortable and honest with one another. The more you lie, the more you hurt the other person and that's not fair.
Step Five: RESPECT EACH OTHER!
If you don't have full respect for that person, your relationship isn't going to be all smiles and love. Being disrespectful obviously leads to arguments. Respect each other's property, decisions, morals and everything you can think of because being disrespectful is one of the worst things a person can do, in my own opinion it's horrible and I have learned that from experiencing it.
Step Four: HAVE COMMON INTERESTS AND OUTLOOKS ON LIFE!
I feel like this is common sense but, I've seen people get into a relationship for the solo fact that they think a person is attractive and have nothing in common with them. What I find happens when this comes into play, is constantly arguing and fighting because the couple does not see eye to eye on anything. I'm not saying a couple has to have everything in common, I'm asking how can you have a true conversation if there's no common interest about anything on any subject? What I also find what happens is that the relationship is extremely awkward and a lot of tension is caused between the two people because of the fighting and not understanding one another. Seriously, how can that make you happy when you can't even talk about something you're interested in and the other person doesn't even care? It's unhealthy in my opinion, not to mention shallow and frustrating! I think having common interests and similar outlooks can really make a relationship strong, since the couple understands from where one is coming from and can talk about what they enjoy and not having a hard time trying to find a topic to talk about.
Step Five: DON'T BE ATTACHED TO THE HIP LIKE CONJOINED TWINS!
Now, I'm guilty of doing this and I think a lot of couples are. Being an individual is something that you need to embrace every once in awhile, that's for sure. Of course if you're married you are going to be around that person for maybe forever, but this applies to dating, marriage a domestic relationship, etc. Getting some space for yourself, maybe going out with some friends for a weekend, going to the spa by yourself or anything that separates you from your significant other, I believe is healthy. When you're constantly with someone 24/7 chances are, you're going to get annoyed, fight, meltdown and could potentially lead to a break up. Y'all aren't conjoined so go out and do something that doesn't involve the person you are with! It's okay! You gotta do you sometimes!
Step Six: DON'T BE CONTROLLING!
No one likes being controlled. Being told what to do, what not to do, making your significant other your pet is something that no one should ever have to put up with. That falls in the categories of disrespect, jealousy, not loving yourself and maybe even being attached to the hip. You see, your significant other is NOT your dog, so don't treat them like it. Treating them like that is stupid, you're not their parent. Don't ever let anyone control you. Do what you want and be the individual you are!
I think these six steps can really make a difference in a relationship or even save a relationship! I hope one day someone buys into my mess of a life but until then, I hope I can help others with my advice from personal experiences and reach out to help someone's "love life," and being there for all of you!! I don't think I'm an expert one bit, but I think these few things can help!
