Being Called Chubby + My Diet

Photo Credit: GKR PHOTOGRAPHY

Photographer: Gabby Ruddick 

So, a few months back before a big photo shoot that I had, this dude called me chubby and I hate to admit it, but it really did have an effect on me and continues to bother me. I also get asked about my diet and what I eat so I decided to put a couple topics that are related into one big post!

Ever since that comment towards me was said, I've felt like I need to lose weight to be a successful model. I'm not going to lie, since that comment was said, I've been losing weight. At that time I was about 102lbs due to health problems and that's the highest weight I've ever been. Because I did put on some pounds from the medication, was called out on my weight and humiliated, I decided that I needed to lose weight and go on a diet. Yes, it does sound kind of bad and ridiculous about wanting to lose weight and dieting but hear me out first because this is a lifestyle change and has made me feel a little better about myself.

Let's Talk About My Changed Diet and What I Eat.

I wouldn't say I changed my diet completely but I will say it's a little different from your average person. What changed from my old routine and what someone kind of forced me to do (not a family member) is eat a big meal three times a day. But since I kind of made this lifestyle change, I don't eat three biggish portioned meals every day. What I do, is pretty simple and that's eating small portions of food throughout the day, except breakfast. I do believe that breakfast is important and that's the only fuller size meal I eat.  

For breakfast, I usually eat the same thing, every single day, which is one or two scrambled eggs (depending on how hungry I am) with onion, pepperoni and sometimes, some red bell pepper. It's fast and easy and really fills me up for a long time. When I start feeling a little hungry, I reach for either some cherry or grape tomatoes, fruit or a handful of whole almonds that aren't roasted, salted or have anything on them to snack on. If I'm at home and really hungry to the point where I feel like I need more than a snack, I cut up FRESH broccoli and cook it with a couple cloves of FRESH garlic and that will fill me up for a ridiculously long time. Let's say I make the broccoli at noon, I don't get hungry until around 8pm. Now, if I'm not that hungry or if I'm at work, I'll snack on some trail mix, a low fat string cheese or almonds all day, maybe every couple of hours I'll grab a handful of trail mix or almonds to at least have sonething in my stomach so I don't feel like starving and end up going out to eat a huge meal and then feel absolutely disgusting and tired after eating a big portion of food. Let's talk dinner, I'm going to be completely honest, sometimes I don't eat dinner because I'm just too tired to make it. When I do eat dinner, I like to make a vegetable stir fry with red bell peppers, broccoli, onion, fresh minced garlic, mushrooms and yellow squash with some low sodium soy sauce, a tad bit of sesame oil and a little bit of Sriracha or red hot chili pepper oil for flavor. Sometimes when I don't feel like making a mess of the kitchen, I take a few leaves of lettuce with a handful of an organic arugula and spinach mixture, put a couple table spoons of blue cheese dressing and just have a simple salad. Sometimes, if I'm feeling like I need some sort of meat I'll cook a chicken breast and eat it with either the salad or shred it up and add it to the stir fry. 

So that's kind of a run down of what I typically eat. It's easy, fresh, healthy and maintains my weight which is why I eat it!

Weight and Self Esteem

Right now, I'm at 97lbs and still feel like I need to drop some weight. For reference I am 5'3 so I'm petite. 

Now, I know I always preach to you guys about loving yourself and being confident because you all should and so should I.

Unfortunately, sometimes loving yourself and being confident isn't always easy. Sometimes, you look in the mirror and hate what you see and I'm gonna be real, it happens to me quite often. On occassion I tear myself to shreds. It's always the thoughts of "if I just had x,y and z" or if "I just looked a certain way, maybe I'd get noticed or maybe if I changed I could book jobs as a model" that make me doubt myself.

I really shouldn't care what people think but I'm human and sometimes words just hurt and stick with me.

The whole point of this post is that, even though I can be 100% confident in myself, sometimes I'm not and I just want to be real with people. Even big time models, actors, actresses, YouTubers and bloggers can feel down and can have a low self esteem on occassion and to me that's normal to be down sometimes. Just because someone may act confident, there's probably something about themselves they don't necessarily like and when it's pointed out, it makes that person feel a little down and that's what I'm feeling right now. Of course I'll get over it, but keep in mind, everyone has insecurities.

Follow me on Social Media:

Instagram: katielafleurr 

Twitter: kallmekatiee 

YouTube: ItsKatieLaFleur

Going With YOUR Gut.

Family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers, etc. will always tell you to do something because THEY think that's what's best for you. But, what if you don't think it's right? Do you do it or do you not?

Coming from experience, here's my advice. It sounds so cheesy but, go with your gut. If you're not 100% for sure if it's the right thing to do and second/third/fourth/fifth guess yourself and YOU are not passionate about it, then don't do it. Weigh it out, something else will come around where you want to put your heart, soul and time into the specific thing. Opportunities come and go but don't take every opportunity if it doesn't feel "right." Don't continue to do something when you're not having it because that's waiting your time. Look at the people who make a ton of money but they're not happy and pretty much hate their lives. Prevent that from happening and nip it in the bud. You shouldn't feel bad for not doing something because you're trying to be influenced by the people around you. 

The way I live my life now is very different from the way I lived in high school and even after high school. People told me to go to college, get my degree and then get a job by a hope and a prayer. My heart wasn't into going to college, I got a job and I've found things that I'm passionate about. I'm passionate about my job, I'm passionate about modeling, I love this blog and I'm passionate about YouTube even if I only have two subscribers. But you know what? That's okay, it doesn't discourage me because I'm confident in what I'm doing. I want to change lives, I love fashion and I love showing the world about who I am because I want to be in inspiration and a role model like "bubzbeauty" and Michelle Phan. If I can just change one life in a positive way, that's all I care about. I want to show people that whatever you want, you can achieve. It might take awhile but that's okay, as long as you love what you're doing. Go for it! 

Stop letting people try to influence you, their intentions might not be in the right place and just want you out of the picture so they can move ahead and that is messed up. Basically, just do what you love and stick with it if your heart and soul is in it 100%. Don't listen to others, listen to your gut and heart. 

Sorry I've been a little MIA but, my laptop has bit the dust and I'm just trying to save up for a new one! Don't forget to follow me on Instagram, Twitter and Facebook and subscribe to my YouTube channel. All info will be down below.

Instagram: itskatielafleur 

Twitter: kallmekatiee 

FaceBook: www.facebook.com/callmekatiee 

YOUTUBE: www.youtube.com/user/itskatielafleur 

Much love!

XOXO 

Random Wednesday

You're probably what Random Wednesday is and it is what it's named! I decided to have a series throughout my blog, called Random Wednesday simply because I'm probably the most random, A.D.D and strangest person you'll ever meet! I always have SO MUCH things that are always on my mind and I really just need to talk about it, let it out and go about my business.

What's been bugging me a lot lately is that, I've been really down and hard on myself. The thing about my personality is when I don't get something right or achieve what I want when I want, frustrates me to the max. I always want to be the best and sometimes I really just can't. For instance, I've been trying to find a reputable modeling agency for a few days now in Colorado and I just feel like I can't find one or that I'm not pretty enough, tall enough, talented enough etc. I admit I do get insecure about myself and myself keeps me from branching out sometimes. I really want to find the RIGHT modeling agency and want to be a Vans model to be in a campaign as soon as possible and that's exactly my problem. I have very little patience, stubborn and hard headed, that's my personality and is something I need to work on, but when I want to have modeling as a career it's hard.

Something that a lot of people don't know is that I do have depression and anxiety and for the last month or so I've been REALLY down. A little back story as to why I've been sad is that I thought I had this great life, living in Denver, thinking I had people who had my back and then literally having it taken all away from me, forcing me to go back and live with my parents. It's hard swollowing your pride and going back home, it's embarrassing to say the least. I feel like as soon as I feel as if I'm on top of the world, it turns upside down and I know it's life. I don't want this to be a pity part for Katie, but if you're sad, down and depressed you absolutely have to express it.

Since I'm on the topic of depression, I want people to get something out of this post and reach out to people who have it. I have a lot of tips to help you all out so I'll make a list for y'all and hopefully it will really help you in your personal life! 

Admit It To Yourself That You Struggle With Depression- Don't be in denial, as soon as you can sit back, say it and know in your heart you're depressed, the sooner you can get help.

Talk About It With Someone- In order to help yourself, you can't bottle it in. Personally, when I know I'm really going through a phase of depression, I go to my primary care doctor because I trust her, I've been her patient since I was about six years old, she knows me and she has my best interest. Even though I haven't been to an actual therapist, she's kind of like my therapist. After, I talk to her and seek help from her, I feel like a weight has been lifted off of my shoulder. To be honest, I recommend if you're depressed, seek your primary care doctor and talk about your symptoms and what's making you upset and your doctor will help you whether it's through medication, a therapist or both. 

If you don't want to go to your doctor, a therapist or be put on medication, just talk to someone you trust and feel comfortable around. You need to talk about your feelings, as much as you might not enjoy it, you'll feel better after. Don't bottle up your emotions, letting them out feels good, take it from someone who likes to hold a lot of things in!

Keep Yourself Busy- Keeping yourself busy is something that helps me not think about what's going on in my life and keeps me from thinking about the negative thoughts I have. Having a job, modeling, blogging, hanging out with friends and family help keep me positive and happy, I suggest if you're suffering from depression, try something you're interested in, stay busy with a job, etc.

YOU Are The One Who Ultimately Chooses Whether To Help Yourself Or Not- It might sound a little harsh, but it's true. You're the one who makes the decision as to whether you want to get out of your dark tunnel or not. You have to be the one who wants the CHANGE in your life. Others can only do so much for you, they don't determine your happiness, you do. I've seen people struggle with depression, have therapists, are on medication, the whole shebang but don't seem to change. It is a hard thing to go through, I know. But, you need to want to help yourself and want to change yourself. Determine whether you want to change and be happy or want to stick to your same routine and not change your ways. 

STAY STRONG- From my heart to yours, you're not alone. You might feel alone and worthless but truly you're not. If you feel as if you need to take your life, please seek medical attention or call a suicide hotline. Here is the National Suicide Hotline Phone Number, 

1-800-273-8255

Your life is precious, you are beautiful, you have potential, you are worth it, you are not alone and if you just want someone to talk too, you can email me at 

callmekatiee.business@gmail.com

So, I guess that's it for my Random Wednesday post! I'll talk to you all tomorrow!

XOXO

Relationships

In the spirit of Valentine's Day, I thought I'd talk about a few things that can possibly help some of you out there! I'm not a relationship professional or anything like that, but I do I have some useful advice and tips to keep a healthy relationship. I haven't had a "real" relationship in a VERY long time and have been "single" for a few years now, but it's not something that is made the number one priority in my life. So, here is my how to keep and have a healthy relationship from day one or maybe even save your relationship!

Step One: LOVE YOURSELF FIRST! Now, I believe you have to love yourself first before you can love anybody else. You ask why? Because I find when someone doesn't love themselves and aren't happy with who they are on the outside AND inside, they become insecure about not being good enough for their partner. Jealousy also comes in the way with the relationship, when the significant other isn't happy with themselves and causes controlling of the other person, no one likes being controlled. Stop looking at others that you feel like you have to compete with. That's not sexy or attractive you guys!

Step Two: BE HONEST ABOUT EVERHTHING!

You both need to be open books with one another and any kind of relationship in general. It's key. If you build up a relationship on lies, who are you kidding, is that living life? If you're on a bed of lies and have to keep lying, that's stupid  honestly. You can not sneak around being shady, that's the worst kind of trait a person can have and that's the truth. If you can not be honest and comfortable telling the truth to a significant other, you shouldn't be with them. Relationships are about being comfortable and honest with one another. The more you lie, the more you hurt the other person and that's not fair.

Step Five: RESPECT EACH OTHER! 

If you don't have full respect for that person, your relationship isn't going to be all smiles and love. Being disrespectful obviously leads to arguments. Respect each other's property, decisions, morals and everything you can think of because being disrespectful is one of the worst things a person can do, in my own opinion it's horrible and I have learned that from experiencing it.

Step Four: HAVE COMMON INTERESTS AND OUTLOOKS ON LIFE!

I feel like this is common sense but, I've seen people get into a relationship for the solo fact that they think a person is attractive and have nothing in common with them. What I find happens when this comes into play, is constantly arguing and fighting because the couple does not see eye to eye on anything. I'm not saying a couple has to have everything in common, I'm asking how can you have a true conversation if there's no common interest about anything on any subject? What I also find what happens is that the relationship is extremely awkward and a lot of tension is caused between the two people because of the fighting and not understanding one another. Seriously, how can that make you happy when you can't even talk about something you're interested in and the other person doesn't even care? It's unhealthy in my opinion, not to mention shallow and frustrating! I think having common interests and similar outlooks can really make a relationship strong, since the couple understands from where one is coming from and can talk about what they enjoy and not having a hard time trying to find a topic to talk about.

Step Five: DON'T BE ATTACHED TO THE HIP LIKE CONJOINED TWINS!

Now, I'm guilty of doing this and I think a lot of couples are. Being an individual is something that you need to embrace every once in awhile, that's for sure. Of course if you're married you are going to be around that person for maybe forever, but this applies to dating, marriage a domestic relationship, etc. Getting some space for yourself, maybe going out with some friends for a weekend, going to the spa by yourself or anything that separates you from your significant other, I believe is healthy. When you're constantly with someone 24/7 chances are, you're going to get annoyed, fight, meltdown and could potentially lead to a break up. Y'all aren't conjoined so go out and do something that doesn't involve the person you are with! It's okay! You gotta do you sometimes!

Step Six: DON'T BE CONTROLLING!

No one likes being controlled. Being told what to do, what not to do, making your significant other your pet is something that no one should ever have to put up with. That falls in the categories of disrespect, jealousy, not loving yourself and maybe even being attached to the hip. You see, your significant other is NOT your dog, so don't treat them like it. Treating them like that is stupid, you're not their parent. Don't ever let anyone control you. Do what you want and be the individual you are! 

I think these six steps can really make a difference in a relationship or even save a relationship! I hope one day someone buys into my mess of a life but until then, I hope I can help others with my advice from personal experiences and reach out to help someone's "love life," and being there for all of you!! I don't think I'm an expert one bit, but I think these few things can help!